{"id":1309,"date":"2024-02-12T13:44:18","date_gmt":"2024-02-12T19:44:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/?p=1309"},"modified":"2024-02-12T13:44:18","modified_gmt":"2024-02-12T19:44:18","slug":"we-asked-muhammad-joseph-smith-charles-taze-russell-and-charles-darwin-what-their-new-years-resolutions-are-here-is-what-they-said","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/?p=1309","title":{"rendered":"We Asked Muhammad, Joseph Smith, Charles Taze Russell, and Charles Darwin what Their New Years Resolutions Are. Here is What They Said"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Satura Apologia Today<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rochester MN \u2013 We here at the world\u2019s one and only apologetics satire site decided to reach out to a few of our favorite objects of mockery and learn what their new year\u2019s resolutions were. Ordinarily, this is done in January, but if someone is still holding to it in February, you know there is a chance they might follow through!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Charles Taze Russell: Finally finish reading Rob Bell\u2019s <em>Love Wins<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Joseph Smith: Make more time for family. If it\u2019s hard for most guys to spend enough time with their wife, just imagine how hard it is when you have forty of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Charles Darwin: Replicate the evolution of humanity in the lab. Mr. Darwin assures us that this resolution is almost as impossible a resolution as losing weight is for most, but not quite!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Muhammad: Learn how to read. Sometimes it\u2019s just hard to be the unlettered prophet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Satura Apologia Today Rochester MN \u2013 We here at the world\u2019s one and only apologetics satire site decided to reach out to a few of our favorite objects of mockery and learn what their new year\u2019s resolutions were. Ordinarily, this is done in January, but if someone is still holding to it in February, you [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1310,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1309","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satura-apologia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1309","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1309"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1309\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1311,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1309\/revisions\/1311"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1310"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1309"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1309"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1309"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}