{"id":705,"date":"2022-09-09T18:37:49","date_gmt":"2022-09-10T00:37:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/?p=705"},"modified":"2022-09-09T18:37:49","modified_gmt":"2022-09-10T00:37:49","slug":"john-calvin-tells-muhammad-my-theology-was-predestined-to-be-better-than-yours-plus-the-podcast-giving-the-latest-updates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/?p=705","title":{"rendered":"John Calvin tells Muhammad \u201cMy Theology was Predestined to Be Better Than Yours.\u201d Plus the Podcast Giving the Latest Updates!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Satura Apologia Today<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Arabia \u2013 Have no fear the Calvinists are here! The word spreads across Arabia that John Calvin himself has arrived with a special message for the Islamic prophet. Calvin was popping by all prophets who disagreed with the Almighty to have a little chat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; \u201cHey, it\u2019s the Arabian Joseph Smith himself!\u201d Calvin said upon seeing Muhammad. \u201cYour skills at presenting a new Gospel are second only to the Latter &#8211; Day Saints!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Those close to Muhammad revealed that this was the prophet\u2019s first encounter with a Calvinist. It was abundantly clear that the encounter was not a pleasant one. Muhammad shot back at Calvin saying that Calvin was the William Shakespeare of Christian theology and one of the dullest dudes in history and was probably predestined to remain that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; \u201cNah\u201d Calvin replied. \u201cMy theology was predestined to be way cooler than yours.\u201d Legend has it that Calvin put on a pair of sunglasses just to rub it in. Sources allege that Calvin planted a Tulip Garden near Muhammad\u2019s home before he left. &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <em>Check out the latest on this story! <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=r-Wo5YzAzDk\">https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=r-Wo5YzAzDk<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Satura Apologia Today Arabia \u2013 Have no fear the Calvinists are here! The word spreads across Arabia that John Calvin himself has arrived with a special message for the Islamic prophet. Calvin was popping by all prophets who disagreed with the Almighty to have a little chat. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; \u201cHey, it\u2019s the Arabian Joseph Smith himself!\u201d [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":370,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satura-apologia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=705"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":706,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705\/revisions\/706"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/370"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}