{"id":843,"date":"2022-12-12T14:25:41","date_gmt":"2022-12-12T20:25:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/?p=843"},"modified":"2022-12-12T14:26:36","modified_gmt":"2022-12-12T20:26:36","slug":"muhammad-finds-surprising-new-evidence-suggesting-that-little-known-disciple-bartholomew-rescued-jesus-from-the-cross-while-riding-a-unicorn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/?p=843","title":{"rendered":"Muhammad Finds Surprising New Evidence Suggesting that Little-Known Disciple Bartholomew Rescued Jesus from the Cross While Riding a Unicorn"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Satura Apologia Today<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mecca \u2013 In a totally reliable not at all suspicious first century source, entitled \u2018The Pink Unicorns of Bartholomew.\u2019 The Islamic prophet Muhammad found new evidence to back up the Quran\u2019s assertion that Jesus did not die on the cross.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; \u201cWho the heck is Bartholomew?\u201d Muhammad wondered as he scrolled through the document. \u201cHmm, looks like he is a disciple.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; According to \u2018The Pink Unicorns of Bartholomew,\u2019 the little-known disciple urged the unicorn to \u201cGiddy up\u201d as they approached Jesus\u2019s cross. Unfortunately, Bartholomew was overheard by another little-known disciple and zealot, Simon the Zealot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; \u201cYou know Leviticus expressly forbids telling a Unicorn to giddy up, right?\u201d Simon reportedly said in this obviously inerrant first-century source.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; At the time of this article\u2019s publication, Roman Prefect Pontius Pilate dismissed the idea of a potential unicorn rescue calling it \u201cunlikely.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Satura Apologia Today Mecca \u2013 In a totally reliable not at all suspicious first century source, entitled \u2018The Pink Unicorns of Bartholomew.\u2019 The Islamic prophet Muhammad found new evidence to back up the Quran\u2019s assertion that Jesus did not die on the cross. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; \u201cWho the heck is Bartholomew?\u201d Muhammad wondered as he scrolled through [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":844,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-843","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satura-apologia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/843","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=843"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/843\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":846,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/843\/revisions\/846"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/844"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=843"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=843"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=843"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}