{"id":877,"date":"2023-01-03T11:30:08","date_gmt":"2023-01-03T17:30:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/?p=877"},"modified":"2023-01-03T11:30:08","modified_gmt":"2023-01-03T17:30:08","slug":"report-disciple-peter-stole-jesuss-corpse-after-scaring-away-the-guards-with-a-sword","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/?p=877","title":{"rendered":"Report: Disciple Peter Stole Jesus\u2019s Corpse After Scaring Away the Guards With a Sword"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Satura Apologia Today<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Beyond the Satire Note: Isn\u2019t it reasonable to think that Peter was a stunning swordsman, and the disciples stole the body? Check out this video from Dr. Sean McDowell <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/seanmcdowell.org\/blog\/did-the-apostles-of-jesus-steal-his-body\"><em>https:\/\/seanmcdowell.org\/blog\/did-the-apostles-of-jesus-steal-his-body<\/em><\/a><em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Empty Tomb &#8211; Reliable sources recently confirmed that the disciple Peter scared off the guards at Jesus\u2019s tomb by displaying some impressive swordsmanship. According to one witness he accidentally cut off James son of Zebedee\u2019s left ear and Doubting Thomas\u2019s one and only nose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cLook out Pete!\u201d An outraged John son of Zebedee yelled as Peter thrust his sword at what should have been a Roman centurion. \u201cJesus ain\u2019t around to put my appendix back in if you cut it out by mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWe better get out of here!\u201d Roman tomb guard Marcus Julius said upon seeing Andrew\u2019s left eyebrow miraculously fall harmless to the ground. \u201cThis dude\u2019s swordsmanship is second only to his ability to catch fish without Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00a0By the time of this article\u2019s publication, Peter was pleased to report that at least the disciple Bartholomew still had all pieces attached and was ready to haul Jesus\u2019s corpse away from the tomb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Satura Apologia Today Beyond the Satire Note: Isn\u2019t it reasonable to think that Peter was a stunning swordsman, and the disciples stole the body? Check out this video from Dr. Sean McDowell https:\/\/seanmcdowell.org\/blog\/did-the-apostles-of-jesus-steal-his-body The Empty Tomb &#8211; Reliable sources recently confirmed that the disciple Peter scared off the guards at Jesus\u2019s tomb by displaying some [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":879,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-877","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satura-apologia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/877","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=877"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/877\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":880,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/877\/revisions\/880"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/879"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=877"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=877"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=877"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}