{"id":888,"date":"2023-01-09T09:32:18","date_gmt":"2023-01-09T15:32:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/?p=888"},"modified":"2023-01-09T09:32:18","modified_gmt":"2023-01-09T15:32:18","slug":"anup-the-baptizer-accidently-drowns-horus-in-mythology-that-gospels-obviously-stole-from","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/?p=888","title":{"rendered":"Anup the Baptizer Accidently Drowns Horus in Mythology that Gospels Obviously Stole From"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Satura Apologia Today<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Beyond the Satire Note: Were the stories of Jesus\u2019s baptism stolen from ancient mythologies about Horus? <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/coldcasechristianity.com\/writings\/is-jesus-simply-a-retelling-of-the-horus-myth\/\"><em>https:\/\/coldcasechristianity.com\/writings\/is-jesus-simply-a-retelling-of-the-horus-myth\/<\/em><\/a><em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Nile River \u2013 After stealing the baptism narratives of the Egyptian God Horus for the Gospels, John the Baptist learned a valuable lesson. Never baptize anybody on a super windy day in the middle of the Nile River.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; \u201cI ripped off the stories of Horus\u2019s baptism down to the letter,\u201d John told his disciples. \u201cWell, minus the part where Horus started floating with the tide and ended up six feet under pushing up daisies.\u201d A visibly moved John went on to credit Anup the Baptizer as his spiritual father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Anup reportedly held Horus\u2019s head underwater for a record three and a half minutes before losing his hold on Horus\u2019s brains altogether. Horus then floated approximately three miles down the river before smashing his head on a rock that also happened to be a virgin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; At publishing time, Anup was beheaded by the God Osiris for accidentally killing his only begotten son in another striking parallel with the Gospels.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Satura Apologia Today Beyond the Satire Note: Were the stories of Jesus\u2019s baptism stolen from ancient mythologies about Horus? https:\/\/coldcasechristianity.com\/writings\/is-jesus-simply-a-retelling-of-the-horus-myth\/ The Nile River \u2013 After stealing the baptism narratives of the Egyptian God Horus for the Gospels, John the Baptist learned a valuable lesson. Never baptize anybody on a super windy day in the middle [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-888","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-satura-apologia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/888","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=888"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/888\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":890,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/888\/revisions\/890"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=888"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=888"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidapologia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=888"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}