Satura Apologia Today

Mecca – Islamic prophet Muhammad reassured the countless, anguished, peaceful Western Muslims that Surah 9’s command to fight those who don’t believe in Allah is pacifist in its nature. 

            “Look here!” Muhammad told good-hearted Western readers of the Quran. “Surah 9 is mostly peaceful, except when it’s violent. And in that case, it’s not peaceful.” Muhammad shook his head. “This isn’t difficult. Fighting is mostly pacifist! Except for the non–pacifist parts when fighting actually occurs.”

            Muhammad then went on to compare the contents of Surah 9 to swords, shields, axes, and other mostly peaceful weapons. “Swords just sit in scabbards most of the time.” The Islamic prophet explained. “It’s only every now and then that these weapons do mostly violent things.”

            In related news, Joseph Smith reassured concerned good-hearted modern Latter – Day – Saints that his marriages were “mostly monogamous.”