Satura Apologia Today

Golgotha, Place of the Skull – Breaking news as Jesus arrives at the hospital just days before his resurrection. Contrary to history, it turns out that those dumb Romans failed to kill Jesus on the cross and Jesus had to be rushed to the hospital (aka Mary Magdalene’s house) on an ambulance (aka the snazzy donkey that Jesus had ridden into Jerusalem on.)

While racing Jesus to the nonexistent hospitals of the first century, the disciples expressed their shock at the events that had just occurred. “I think all twelve of us might be hallucinating.” Doubting Thomas said. “What other explanation could there be for the Romans failure to kill Jesus and our emergency flight via God’s favored donkey.”

The apostle Peter suggested that the disciples were just making the whole story up. “I have no idea why we would do that.” Peter said. “We gain nothing, and it doesn’t make sense, but it certainly makes more sense than taking Jesus to the hospital on a donkey.”

As of publishing time, the tale of Jesus’s emergency room trip was met with far less skepticism from skeptics than Jesus’s resurrection was.