Satura Apologia Today

United States – Critics and pollsters who have been following the rise of the nones found a surprising trend in recent polls. Many of these nones do in fact worship God just as much as any religious person does. They just make intercessions in front of their bathroom sinks instead of going to Church.

            “I was shocked to hear the types of adoration services that go on every morning in the bathroom.” One surprised pollster said. “You would think that God himself was in the mirror.”

            “I am skeptical of organized religion,” Ada McNarcissist admitted to pollsters. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t worship in front of my mirror every morning and evening.”

            “I don’t believe that there is a God out there in the cosmos,” another participant in the poll said. “It’s much easier to trust the God that looks back at me in the mirror every morning and tells me exactly what I want to hear.”

            As of publishing time, pollsters did not immediately reply to our request for comment.