Satura Apologia Today
A modern Mega Church – The tickets have sold out and the sanctuary is filled. Tonight, will see the first performance of Jonathan Edwards’s all new rock concert. Edwards will be turning “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” into a heavy metal extravaganza. The Church erupted into applause as Edwards puts on his sunglasses hits the stage!
Having failed to get a modern-day revival by simply preaching “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” Edwards is trying a more seeker friendly approach. Jonathan Edwards recently announced that his new rock band will be called “the God Rocking Sinners.”
The crowd roared as Edwards started yelling the chorus to the beat. “Oh, there is nothing, nothing, nothing, that keeps all those sinners, sinners, sinners, from Hell! Except God.” On the fifth repeat Edwards solo ended and Charles Spurgeon got a chance to show off his hidden talent on the electrical guitar. Of course, no good concert would be complete without the fog machines and flashing lights to go along with the tune. So, the God Rocking Sinners filled the room with flashing orange lights and orange fog that put attendees in mind of the eternal torment meant for non-believers.
According to those present at the concert, many were surprised to see John Calvin up there on the drums, with his head nodding to the beat. At publishing time, it appeared as though the concert would be a great success.
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