Satura Apologia Today

The Home of Charles Darwin – Well, it finally happened. The rapture occurred! Charles Darwin was heading over to Metropolitan Baptist Church for a good old debate on theism only to discover that Pastor Charles Haddon Spurgeon had been raptured.

            Since Charles Darwin was an atheist, the rapture was not the first explanation that came to mind, and it was Spurgeon’s janitor, a dude called Todd that informed Darwin of Spurgeon’s location.

            “He’s been raptured.” Todd said.

            “What about you?” Darwin asked.

            “I was left behind.” Todd looked pleased.

            Sources confirmed that once Todd told Darwin that Spurgeon and all the good Christians had been raptured, they embraced just like old pals. “There are no Christians left!” A jubilant Charles Darwin declared. “We get to face the tribulation without the good guys, and no one can say the tribulation is bad because there is no objective morality anyway!”

            Reports say that Todd and Darwin were dancing in the streets just as the mark of the beast started hovering ominously over Metropolitan Baptist Church.