Satura Apologia Today

Beyond the Satire: Reformed Egyptian was the language that the Book of Mormon was originally revealed to Joseph Smith in. Unfortunately for Smith, the language does not exist.

Carthage Illinois – Have no fear for heresy is near! Joseph Smith signaled yesterday in his latest sermon that he has a plan to save the Latter - Day Saints from being saved. In his pulpit yesterday, Smith outlined for his faithful LDS followers his latest scheme to save Mormonism from Jesus.

“I tell you what folks, why don’t I translate every Bible from English into reformed Egyptian?” Smith said from the Pulpit. Reports say that Smith received a standing ovation for his suggestion.

According to one attendee, someone from the back shouted “Let’s go Joseph! Nobody knows reformed Egyptian better than you. If it comes right down to it, you’re the only one who has ever heard of reformed Egyptian!”

Joseph Smith nodded tolerantly and reminded his adoring crowd that was the point. “Come on folks” Smith said, “Wouldn’t we have a much easier time proving Mormonism true if the Bible contradicted us in a language that doesn’t exist?”

Unfortunately, things did not go according to plan. At publishing time, Joseph Smith’s translators had converted to Christianity after being forced to read the Bible.