Satura Apologia Today

Metropolitan Baptist Church – After a century and a half hiatus from preaching, the prince of preacher’s has returned to the pulpit! It is with great joy that we here at the world’s one and only apologetics satire site can confirm that Spurgeon did in fact preach at Metropolitan Baptist Church last week.

            Unfortunately, Spurgeon had been away for such a long time that he was out of tune with the modern standards of Christ likeness. “The music isn’t loud enough! I can’t feel the beat.” Declared an annoyed Arnold McDeaf. “Where are the fog machines?” Another believer asked. “Doesn’t Spurgeon realize that you can’t feel the spirit without suffocating?”

            A visibly trembling Spurgeon ignored the worship debate and pressed on to the pulpit. Sources confided to Satura Apologia Today that the fear of preaching the word incorrectly was almost debilitating to Spurgeon.

            “He is shaking. Does our Spurgeon have stage fright?” Church goer Donald Loving asked. “Maybe he is just allergic to the fog machines.” Loving scratched his head. “It certainly can’t be God, after all, what is there to fear from a holy God?”

            Pastor Spurgeon could not be reached for comment.

Beyond the Satire: Regardless of differences in preaching style and worship style, Church unity is important! Check out this article by one of the newest writers here at Rock Solid Apologia highlighting the necessity of unity in the Church. https://rocksolidapologia.com/?p=549