Satura Apologia Today

Metropolitan Baptist Church – Famous preacher Charles Haddon Spurgeon shocked congregants by preaching a theistic evolution view of Genesis 1. In order to counter infamous atheist Charles Darwin’s assertion that our common ancestor was the ape, Pastor Spurgeon humbly suggested that it would be more biblical for us to believe that humanity evolved from sheep.

            “Jesus compared us to sheep, not apes!” Spurgeon roared from the pulpit. “Over millions of years we made great progress, from acting and looking like sheep, to just acting like sheep.”

            In related news, Joseph Smith announced that his common ancestor was the wolf. Critics of Mormonism have not so subtly implied that the LDS prophet is still in fact a wolf but now he wears sheep’s clothing.