Satura Apologia Today

A very full locked room – New research indicates that Simon of Cyrene stole Jesus’s one-of-a-kind hair spray while carrying the cross and used it to convince the Disciples that Christ had risen from the dead.

            “Ah ha! I know that smell!” John son of Zebedee announced excitedly after Simon of Cyrene picked the lock.

“The minute I got a whiff of that genuine Jesus smelling hair I was convinced!” Peter said while sniffing the air contently.

            Doubting Thomas on the other hand was not so easily convinced and had to pull Simon’s Whig off and sniff it for himself before believing in the resurrection. “Once I removed the Whig and put it right up to my rather doubtful nostrils, I knew Jesus was back from the dead!” Thomas declared excitedly.

            At publishing time, James the brother of Jesus declared that he would not be fooled by Simon of Cyrene’s clever disguise unless he happened to be wearing Jesus’s deodorant as well.