Satura Apologia Today

Beyond the Satire Note: Isn’t it reasonable to think that Peter was a stunning swordsman, and the disciples stole the body? Check out this video from Dr. Sean McDowell https://seanmcdowell.org/blog/did-the-apostles-of-jesus-steal-his-body

The Empty Tomb - Reliable sources recently confirmed that the disciple Peter scared off the guards at Jesus’s tomb by displaying some impressive swordsmanship. According to one witness he accidentally cut off James son of Zebedee’s left ear and Doubting Thomas’s one and only nose.

“Look out Pete!” An outraged John son of Zebedee yelled as Peter thrust his sword at what should have been a Roman centurion. “Jesus ain’t around to put my appendix back in if you cut it out by mistake.”

“We better get out of here!” Roman tomb guard Marcus Julius said upon seeing Andrew’s left eyebrow miraculously fall harmless to the ground. “This dude’s swordsmanship is second only to his ability to catch fish without Jesus.”

 By the time of this article’s publication, Peter was pleased to report that at least the disciple Bartholomew still had all pieces attached and was ready to haul Jesus’s corpse away from the tomb.