Satura Apologia Today

Beyond the Satire Note: Joseph Smith ran for President in 1844.

The campaign trail – LDS prophet and failed presidential candidate Joseph Smith rallied dismayed Latter-Day Saints after John Calvin’s election interference caused him to drop out of the 1844 campaign.

“I would have won so big; Latter-Day Saints would be sick of winning! James K. Polk wouldn’t know what hit him. What a poky loser!” Joseph Smith told dismayed followers. “But John Calvin stuffed the ballot boxes with tulips! And that is exactly what my reformed Egyptian translation of Romans nine says rigged election is.”

Speculations arose as to Calvin’s motivations. Joseph Fielding Smith suggested that Calvin was a Jesuit agent sent by the Pope to stop Joseph Smith. Brigham Young, on the other hand, alleged that Calvin was secretly in the pay of outgoing President Tyler.