Satura Apologia Today

Beyond the Satire Note: The planet Kolob is thought to be by Latter Day Saints the planet closest to God. Read more here: https://www.mrm.org/kolob

Carthage Illinois – In a long-awaited sermon, LDS prophet Joseph Smith finally answered Latter Day Saints pressing questions about the location of the Planet Kolob.

“It’s in a Galaxy far, far away.” Joseph Smith told eager followers from the pulpit. “It is roughly seven hundred light years away from Skaro, and practically right on Gallifrey’s doorstep.”

In related news, JW founder Charles Taze Russell predicted that humanity would reach Kolob by the year 2032, approximately 57 years after Jesus was supposed to have returned in 1975.