Satura Apologia Today

The Local Chick Fil A – Famed atheist Christopher Hitchens was seen posting a one-star review for the Christian restaurant Chick Fil A.

            “I would not recommend it!” The review read. “Religion poisons literally everything!” Christopher Hitchens continued irritably. “Including but not limited to Christian Restaurants. You know that I almost died yesterday after eating at Chick Fil A?”

            A spokesman for Chick Fil A dismissed Hitchens’ claim. “That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.”

            In addition to finding the food at Chick Fil A disagreeable with his digestive system, Hitchens also found that acrylic paints sold at Hobby Lobby are disagreeable as well. Hitchens assured critics this was due to religion and not to the fact that the paints are inedible.

            By publishing time, the Hitchens family assured the world that Christopher was on the road to recovery.