Satura Apologia Today

Heaven and Hell - A recent survey of all those who have ever lived and died revealed that a record-breaking one hundred percent of the dead now believe in God.

            “God exists.” Long-dead Charles Darwin, a one-time atheist assured his followers. “I know that now.”

            “God is not a meatball. I know that fact surprises some of my old atheist pals.” Recently deceased atheist Christopher Hitchens told pollsters. “God isn’t actually anything like the noodle-covered monstrosity I imagined during life. He is very great and does in fact exist.”

            In related poll results, one hundred percent of those resurrected also believe in God. “Take it from me.” A stinky Lazarus assured skeptics. “God’s not dead, and neither am I.”