Satura Apologia Today

Gymnasium near Joseph Smith’s House – In his latest visit to the local gym, LDS prophet Joseph Smith finally achieved his long-time fitness goal of having a better physique than Heavenly Father. “Look at these sweet things!” Joseph Smith said as he flexed at bewildered non-LDS folks at the gym. “Not even Heavenly Father has got Abs like mine.”

Smith looked wistful. “Think of it, I could bench press hundreds of stone tablets looking like this.” Smith looked admiringly down at his chest. “Imagine what my spirit babies are gonna look like. They are gonna be a cross between the Holy Spirit and Lebron James.”

By publishing time, Joseph Smith claimed to have bench pressed more than Heavenly Father.