Satura Apologia Today

Brigham Young University – In a shocking study, students at Brigham Young University realized that their outreach to the community was an unprecedented success in a previously underrepresented group of the extended Latter-Day Saint family. Cats.

The study was prompted by a comment made years ago by atheist Christopher Hitchens. “Owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.” Christopher Hitchens noted, not realizing what effect his out-of-context remarks would have on LDS prophet Joseph Smith.

Joseph Smith, like his cat came to the realization that he was a God-like being. Unlike his cat, Joseph Smith found few reasons for this belief.

“Yep, he is definitely a Mormon.” Concluded Joseph Smith upon staring into the eyes of his cat, abnormally and coincidentally named Kolob.

“This cat is going to be producing litters of Spirit Kittens for all eternity!” Second LDS President Brigham Young noted, after watching his own cat closely.

At publishing time, the pews had been filled with mewing kittens who did not seem to realize that the reading of the King Follet Discourse was an affirmation of their outlook on life.