Satura Apologia Today

Upstate New York – LDS prophet Joseph Smith defended his prophethood, saying that only a prophet could be given as good-looking of a physique as his.  

            “Look at my competition,” Smith told critics and females alike. “Or, perhaps more to the point, ladies, don’t look at my competition. You have got Muhammad. Nobody has ever drawn him, and I think there might be a good reason for that. And then there is that Charles Taze Russell dude, did he wake up in the morning trying to be Gandalf or something?”

            “I have up to forty wives.” In what was perhaps the finest defense of his prophethood yet, Joseph Smith continued. “Only someone truly good-looking could get that many brides. Men of ordinary appearance only manage one, but I have I have got forty!”

            Joseph Smith’s wives did not reply to our request for comment.