Satura Apologia Today

Beyond the Satire Note: It is worth asking LDS friends and family exactly when the Bible was supposed to have been corrupted.

The Sacred Grove – Thanks to recent documentational discoveries, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints proudly revealed exactly how the Bible was corrupted. A new manuscript, unearthed by the Church, documents an intriguing passage of dialogue between LDS prophet Joseph Smith and Heavenly Father.

“All their creeds are an abomination in God’s sight.” Heavenly Father told Joseph Smith, when the soon to be Prophet inquired about which denomination to join.

“But how did this corruption occur?” Joseph Smith asked.

The text seems to indicate that Heavenly Father grew solemn as any God worth his planet would when discussing the corruption of his word. “The Bible was never properly refrigerated.”

“Beg your pardon?” A confused Joseph Smith repeated.

“Had the Bible been put in the refrigerator as soon as it was transcribed, there is no doubt that it would have avoided serious corruption. The metabolism of organic matter as well as scribal errors will come to a complete and total standstill in the refrigerator.”

At the time of this article’s publication, once the discovery had been made public, Latter Day Saint temple workers could be seen moving all Books of Mormon into the Freezer.