Satura Apologia Today

Harvard University – In her last controversial decision as Harvard President, Claudine Gay announced that the school had employed the Islamic prophet Muhammad as the school ramps up its efforts to quash antisemitism.

            “To combat the rampant Islamophobia, and to show our solidarity with oppressed oppressors everywhere, we are thrilled to welcome the prophet Muhammad to our Harvard family.” A spokesman for the school said. “The prophet Muhammad will bring his own diverse perspective on the Jewish people that is sure to make us stronger.” The statement went on to say.

            “I look forward to serving in my new role as professor of worst of creatures… I mean Jewish studies professor.” Muhammad said in his own statement.

             At publishing time, Harvard came under fire from other ivy league universities who objected to Muhammad’s employment on the grounds that he was Homophobic and Transphobic.