Satura Apologia Today

University of Noth Carolina – Groundbreaking research has recently indicated that Jesus of Nazareth did not in fact rise from the dead. Instead, atheist Dr. Bart Erhman suggested that angels stole Jesus’s body from the tomb and then lied to the women.

            “Yeah, resurrection is as impossible as a group hallucination.” Dr. Erhman told crestfallen atheists. “The only really good alternative theory to the resurrection of Jesus is that his body was stolen by rogue angels. Think of this as divine tomb robbery.”

            Not all atheists were pleased with Dr. Ehrman’s new theory since it still inevitably led to the conclusion that God exists. Atheist Richard Dawkins posited that Jesus’s corpse was stolen in a cutting-edge invention of the disciples known only as the Jesusmobile. Dawkins admitted that he had “complete faith” in his theory.

            At publishing time, Dr. Ehrman had not replied to request for comment.