Satura Apologia Today

Beyond the Satire Note: There is good reason to doubt that Jehovah Witness founder Charles Taze Russell knew any Greek when he translated the New World Translation of the Bible.

Pampa Texas – Charles Taze Russell’s Greek translation skills have come under fire recently after Russell was overheard telling his followers that the Greek word for Angel was Jedi.

            “Who taught him Greek?” The apostle Paul wondered. Charles Taze Russell fired back at his critics by stating that he was taught Greek by the master himself. Joseph Smith.

            “All right Chuck, it’s time for Greek 101!” Joseph Smith declared. “The Greek word for Jehovah is Yoda.” Smith paused to enunciate every last syllable. “See, it sounds sort of like Yahweh only with that nice Greek feel to it.”

            “The world can rest assured that Joseph Smith is just as skilled in Greek as he is in Egyptian.” Charles Taze Russell told the press in a statement. Neither Joseph Smith nor Charles Taze Russell responded to our request for comment. A spokesman for the prophets told us that they were in detention for failing Greek class.