Satura Apologia Today

Beyond the Satire Note: Johann Tetzel was a Catholic friar that accepted cash (indulgences) from lay Catholics to lessen the punishment of sins. Tetzel pushed Luther over the edge and the protestant reformation resulted.

The Wittenberg Door – Hell reached full capacity yesterday as Allah sent another devout Muslim to eternal torment. The Devil revealed that overcrowding is now the number one issue in Hell.

            To alleviate capacity limit concerns, Muhammad had a chat with Johann Tetzel. The arch nemesis of Martin Luther suggested that Muhammad instate indulgences as part of the Islamic salvation process.

            “To get a loved one out of Hell and into heaven all you need to do is pay me the modest sum of $150 per limb.” Muhammad told his followers. “I will proceed to use that money for Godly things, like funding Joseph Smith’s campaign for President.”

            At publishing time, Martin Luther had suggested that Jesus might be more effective than cash for salvation. The story is developing.