Satura Apologia Today

New York – Unbeknownst to the world, most Latter-Day Saints and Heavenly Father himself, Joseph Smith had a long-lost brother. Recently, Joseph Smith introduced the world to Todd Smith. Todd is the only dude in the whole of history who can truly say he understands reformed Egyptian. That is probably why nobody has ever heard of him before.

            “My little bro Todd is the linguist every Latter-Day Saint wishes that I had.” Joseph Smith said in what should have been a private letter to Brigham Young.

            “Come on Heavenly Father, can I please just take Todd with me as interpreter.” The LDS prophet begged. “I have a nasty tendency to interpret the reformed Egyptian words ‘thus saith the lord’ as ‘may the force be with you.’ Pretty please?”

            Regrettably, Heavenly Father turned down Joseph Smith’s request. Todd, who happened to be on vacation with the lost tribes of Israel was shaking his head.