Satura Apologia Today

Heaven – In a twist as shocking as Samson’s never cut beard, Allah has begun to think that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was perhaps not the best choice for an Islamic warrior prophet.

            According to the angel Gabriel, things had gotten so bad that Allah was forced to consider Deborah and Gideon as prophets, but fortunately kept reading in his inspired word long enough to run across Samson.

            “I told you so!” A somewhat irked angel Gabriel said. “Samson (may a jawbone be upon his enemies) has the sweetest muscles I have ever seen on a created creature. I would have to refrain from choking him if you wanted me to give him revelation.”

            At publishing time, Allah had reluctantly decided to stick it out with Muhammad. He instructed Gabriel to tell Muhammad to get hairier the next time they chatted. Perhaps that would do the trick.